Conception
by Pycal the Paperboy
Summary: Lupin, apparently finding talk of conception a turn on, must feed his curiosity, further ruining the young minds around him. Follows the Namida wa Ame, Wasuremono no Bara story.


**Conception**

Pycal the Paperboy

Eight years earlier...

Lupin sat at the round dining room table, his two children, Eva and Lupin IV, sitting across from him. The grandfather clock struck eight as Fujiko came back with plates of various breakfast meals, setting them in front of her husband and kids. As she turned and started back to the kitchen Lupin couldn't help to stare at her nice tight ass, each perfectly formed cheek swayed with every step.  
Eva and Lupin IV stared at their dad as he let out a perverted giggle, a small stream of drool forming at the corner of his mouth. The two then rolled their eyes at each other, giving a look of slight disgust.  
"Hey!" Lupin blurted out suddenly, the smell of food shaking him from Fujiko.  
Eva and Lupin IV jumped at the sudden interruption of silence.  
"Have I ever told you two about the night you were conceived?" Lupin seemed excited about this, his kids staring at him partly in disbelief and partly in disgust. They really wanted to say something, anything to stop him from his story, but words failed them.  
Lupin sighed happily. "We were in Germany for a job and, man, sex is everywhere in Germany. Well, if you know where to look." He grinned and winked at his kids, who became more disturbed with every passing word. "Anyway, I was horny, well, I'm always horny, but that night I was really horny. I mean, really _really_ horny. And your mom, she wanted me. Well, more than she usually does. We never even started the job before we were both making out and I was ripping her clothes off. God, that night was good. Your mom must have orgasmed twelve times!"  
"Lupin!" Fujiko gasped as she came back with her plate. "Don't tell the kids that."  
"What?" he whined. "It's not like they don't already know this stuff."  
"With their parents?"  
"Well.... it happened, so what's the big deal?"  
Fujiko kept the discussion/argument going, Eva and Lupin IV never hearing a word of it as they both stared off into space, a look of permanent fear and disgust on their faces.  
Lupin and Fujiko stopped talking when the doorbell rang, both looking at the door.  
"Oh, that's Goemon," Lupin said as he inhaled the rest of his meal and stood, walking to the door. "He came to drop of his kids."  
"Again?" Fujiko sighed, her sigh more out of sadness than annoyance, hating the person Goemon had become since his wife's death, a man who only wanted to be alone so he could sulk in his own self pity.  
Lupin answered the door and smiled at the family. "Hey, guys," he said in his still excited tone.  
Goemon said nothing, only gave Lupin a quick glance before turning and walking off.  
Goemon's children were all used to this, as it became an almost daily thing. His oldest, who had already adopted the name Frolic, didn't seem to mind. He enjoyed being around Eva. Susanne and Fujiko, who hadn't yet picked up the name Baffi, just put up with it, although Fujiko and Eva had started to become close.  
"Did you guys know how you were all conceived?" Lupin asked them.  
The three stopped what they were doing and stared at him, all standing frozen.  
"Knowing Goemon I bet it was really awkward and that his wife did all the work," Lupin laughed. "I can't imagine Goemon even touching her, let alone taking her clothes off. Teasing her with light kisses up and down her body, touching and squeezing her in all the right places, giving her the right kind of stimulation.... Nope, can't see him doing any of that."  
Goemon's kids glanced at each other, Frolic disgusted, Susanne slightly interested while Fujiko seemed completely lost, which was her usual for everything.  
Lupin's Fujiko, however, rolled her eyes, hoping that Goemon never found out any of this, as he would surely kill Lupin in a fit of embarrassed rage.  
"Probably," Lupin said as he stared off in thought, "she forced him down, tied him to the bed, removed his clothes before removing hers..."  
Just then Jigen let himself in, Beretta following close behind him.  
"... and then she had her way with him and he begged her to stop," Lupin finished.  
Jigen paused as he stared at Lupin in confusion. 'What the fuck...?' he thought.  
"Oh, hey Jigen, Beretta," Lupin smiled. He then returned to the scenario, giving him some sort of perverted pleasure. "I bet she was an animal in bed, riding him like a wild sex hungry beast, her moans drowning out his loud pleas." Drool once again formed at the corner of his mouth.  
"Please, for the love of god, tell me you aren't talking about who I think you're talking about," Jigen groaned.  
Beretta seemed amused and interested in the discussion, wanting to hear more to fill her curiousity.  
"Uncle Lupin is telling us how we were conceived," Susanne said with an innocent smile.  
"Damn it, Lupin," Jigen said in anger. "What the hell is wrong with you? If Goemon ever finds out you're telling his kids this stuff, I'm not gonna risk my ass to stop him from killing you."  
"He won't find out, right guys?" Lupin grinned as Goemon's kids shook their heads. "See? Now your ass will be nice and safe."  
"I bet," Jigen scoffed as he plopped himself down in the couch.  
"Mentioning conception, Glock came about in a car, right?"  
"Don't... don't start this shit with me," Jigen warned half-heartidly.  
"Oh, come on, Jigen," Lupin whined, for some reason needing to know this. "You guys got it on in that old Thunderbird you used to have, right? Was she on top or were you?"  
"You're sick, you know that? You are fucking sick."  
"Please, Jigen, no need to be embarrassed."  
"I'm not embarrassed!"  
"Then, why don't you share? I'm sure Beretta would like to know how she was conceived. Right, Beretta?"  
Beretta looked at Lupin and shrugged.  
A low growl escaped Jigen's lips. "Leave my daughter out of this."  
"How many times did Cinnamon come with Glock? Once? Twice?" Lupin waited for a reply. "Fujiko came _twelve_ times!" he boasted.  
"Damn it, Lupin!" Fujiko screamed from the kitchen. "Stop telling every one!"  
"Twelve?" Jigen said, shame filling him as he could never get farther than four with Cinnamon.  
"Do you blame me for bragging, Fujiko?" Lupin asked. "I'm proud of that number. And you should be-"  
Two loud thuds made him stop talking, all looking to the kitchen where Eva and Lupin IV had passed out, their faces falling into their plates, scrambled eggs and hash browns exploding all over the table.  
"Not again," Fujiko sighed, walking over to clean up the mess.


End file.
